My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for over two years now. We usually have arguments, sometimes I’m at the wrong and the other times it’s miscommunication from both ends. When we argue he always goes silent for days even weeks. Me being as I am I don’t like conflict (or so I thought) I would always reach out first wanting us to talk about things but it would lead to me explaining over and over again then we will just let it go. Happened a couple times, the most recent argument I brought up something that hurt me and I asked a question, he’s 8 hours ahead of me in time difference, he didn’t wish me Merry Christmas. Where he was, there are network issues, he would text me and I will get the messages hours later which is fine, I understand because I’ve also been in those situations. But he didn’t send me a message on Christmas Day. I asked him why he didn’t even though he’s 8 hours ahead at this time it was around 6pm in his time and still morning for me. He said I know about the network issues and I’m still asking this. I said I know about that but you’ve been texting me before and I’ve gotten the messages no matter what time they got to me, it’s past 6pm in your time so what’s different about today makes me wonder if you were going to message me at all. He started saying oh I don’t understand him, I should stop being difficult, I’m selfish and self centered for thinking about myself and how the situation is affecting him all these things. For a simple question, I told him just be honest if it didn’t cross your mind to send me a message just say it rather than deflecting from what I’m saying and calling me names because I’m calling you out on lack of consideration. He later said oh there wasn’t network I had to wait for my friend to hotspot me before I could come online then I saw your text and replied. I said so why couldn’t you answer the question clearly like this when I asked, you have deflected, avoided, called me names, defended your ego and control just for this. I told him there’s no need having a conversation with him because he doesn’t want to comprehend he just wants to control the situation and my reactions to his actions. He said oh so now I’m stupid and foolish like boy Shutup. One week later he sends me new year message I gave a cold reply, sent a couple more trying to hey and hi his way back. Fast forward to today Sunday will make it 1 month of no contact. I miss him, I still love him but I’m tired of carrying all the emotional weight of the relationship like I’m dating myself. I know he’s not texting me to protect his ego and pride and he’s waiting for me to reach out (like I always did) but this time I told myself no. I recognized the pattern and will put a stop to it. I am not going to text him because I will have to explain why I’m upset and we’re going to keep going back and forth till I’ll end up feeling unseen and unheard once again. I’m tired. For once if he cares about me or this relationship he should step up and ask what’s going on,what the problem is. Till then I will focus on myself, finding different hobbies and living life. All the best to him.