I’m learning to love myself because honestly I don’t think I do. I lost my mother 9 years ago and my dad about 20 years ago, I’ve been alone ever since. I think my experience has made me a very needy person in my relationships, both friendships and romantics but I hide it so well and they all think I’m non-challant but the truth is I try to act like I don’t care, like I don’t need people even though I know I need them more and I’m always scared of losing them. Now my problem is I have always seek validation in my past romantic relationships and always felt complete whenever I’m dating someone I like, I feel more confident and whenever I’m single I feel worthless and miserable and I really want to change that about myself. My soul wants to be alone at the moment but my brain and heart needs me to be with someone so i can feel whole again. I really hate the fact that I feel this way and I need help! I’m trying to put my life together and I’m more focused on that but still i just wanna be single for once and be happy about it. In the last 5 years this is the first time I’ve been single for this long, been like 3/4 months now I think and I’m starting to realize I’ve been co-dependent on my exes. Don’t tell me to go to a therapist, if I wanted to I won’t be here. I just need perspectives from different people.