It’s not that I can’t let him go, it’s that ever since we reconnected last year, I became happy again, I didn’t even know I had been sad for over a year. I started playing music again, I made friends, ate healthier and starting doing things I loved to do before. That’s what hearing from him brought back. It’s why I can’t let go even though meeting up with him isn’t a good idea for either of us. I just don’t want to go back to being cold and calculative. I really like this feeling of my heart beating again.