We had a conversation earlier and i opened up about all of my sexual abuses and harassment while growing up, then I said I wanted to sleep and you said you wanted to still have sex, I agreed and even though I had told you earlier I liked it short, you still took longer, you hit a wrong place at the entrance and I cried out in pain and said I wanted to check myself but I turned and you pinned me down and continued, I was crying profusely I’m so much pain and you still ignored my cries until you were done, pretending you didn’t hear a thing (I wasn’t sobbing by the way) i started bleeding the next morning and I don’t even know what to feel like right now

What I brought upon myself (2)

After the whole thing happened and I couldn’t stop crying, I was shaking and I couldn’t believe what just happened, I felt like I was being raped and I was helpless, he had the guts to tell me that “since I have something so wrong that you can’t forgive me, let me just go and kill myself” in the middle of the night, in my house and his first time here too. He looked at my crying face and tears that didn’t stop and he continued and started moaning, he was enjoying my tears. I can’t seem to get the picture off my head, I still haven’t figured out how to process everything. It’s been over 36 hours now