I’m 25 years old and at the moment I’m totally ashamed of myself. Three years into my relationship, the guy that deflowered me broke up with me and followed another woman. Later on, he came back and we decided to move on. It’s been six years into the relationship and now he’s out of the country. Scared that the same thing would occur, and he once mentioned if we end things now we both don’t owe each other anything. So I decided to be in a relationship with someone else which we had a thing and I later found out he had a girl and was cheating on her with me. Same with another guy which I later found out he’s married. Now he seems serious and has started planning my papers. I’m scared and ashamed at the same time and I’m thinking of telling him. Just give it a closure and I’ve promised myself if things doesn’t work out between us I doubt if I would ever be in a relationship again. I’ve been overthinking and hallucinating at times. I’m stressed and tired above it all I’ve been ashamed to even look at myself. I just hope it gets better and I heal. Having no one to talk to even makes me crazy and I break down at times. I’ve lost weight and it’s so obvious. I don’t think I can forgive myself. I’m yet to decide if I should tell him or not but how he would feel is making me go crazy.