I hate who I was in my last relationship, it was my first and I did my best with the knowledge I had. I was toxic and abusive, he left after 4years. Called me a waste of time, valueless, I feel extreme guilt and shame over who I was. I begged and apologized for months he said no. Virginity/Abortion and all, he called me a waste of time. Knowing I’ll never see him again it feels death it’s making me sick. I just wanted to fix it.