Right now the only time I feel anything positive is when I laugh with the people around me, not really friends just people. Meanwhile the one that’s a friend doesn’t know how to be interested in the deep things I have to say, I drop strong hints that I’m not okay but I get nothing, I don’t wanna talk about it but it’d be nice if he asks. I just feel this deep disdain for everything I’ve become, uglier, fatter, dumber, somehow poorer and I can’t even feel anything close to romance just numb in that aspect which used to be the highlight of my day, not even bothering with school. I just wanna fall into the hole.