Each time I go out to have fun, I feel guilty. I end up beating myself up about it. I go out, spend my own money without constituting a nuisance, yet something makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. It’s always like I’m doing what I’m not supposed to do. That I should be inside feeling bored instead of going out and being happy. I’ll be lying if I say I don’t know the genesis for this. My ex boyfriend was controlling and hated me stepping out. Now look at me, even years after I’m still in an invisible prison, this time it’s prison of my mind. I just wish I never feel the guilt again.