I’m a single mother and I’m in a dilemma. I dated this guy as at 2018, a year after I’d finished secondary school. He was 5 years older and had just rounded up his youth service. We were cool till I found out he was cheating or do I say flirting. He was asking her out and even told her he was single, on the same day my supposed boyfriend had said we take an oath. I acted like I saw nothing until I got home that day. I confronted him and one thing led to another and slid it under the rug. I was working as a receptionist at a hotel. I never for once cheated on this guy. He got so insecure that he’ll come to my place of work without informing me, he became violent, he’ll throw stuff if I refuse to talk to him. I used to be a quiet person, he’d taunt me, he’d tell me he likes when we have issues. I left the relationship cos my mental health was at stake. I still loved him, I’d reach out to him sometimes and he reciprocates too but I couldn’t see myself being in such a draining relationship again. Fast forward to June 2020 during the Covid lock down, I went to pick a laptop close to his area and I got stuck. I reached out to him for shelter, we ended up at a hotel. One thing led to one thing, we had sex (I was single). The next morning, we went our seperate ways. 3days later i went to visit a guy I’m in a fwb with. Do the normal side chick shii, forgetting I’m suppose to use pills after an unprotected sex. I was naive, ignorant and dumb. A month later I got to know I was pregnant, told the 2 of them. My ex suggested I terminate the other fwb blocked my numbers, blocked me everywhere. I decided to keep the baby cause I was scared of abortion, I was scared that what if I don’t get pregnant again, what if I die. I thought I could do it all by myself. End of first trimester, my mum got to know and demanded that I present the guy responsible. I brought in my ex, it was disastrous. My ex decided to stay but was also demanding for dna cause he said I ruined his life, that he hated me and was going to make my life miserable. While I was 7 months gone, he got to know about the other guy and that he was going to go ahead with the dna. We were like cat and rat. A month before I put to bed, we were like Romeo and Juliet lol. It was bloomy until I put to bed and he started complaining of me not having his time anymore. I hile I was nursing 👨‍🍼, we had lots and lots of lots of disagreements, too many issues, issues of me going back to school, he’d suggested I quit school and focus on having a family but that wasn’t what I had in plate and moreover I was in school when all this happened. He made judgment on not wanting to have anything to do with me, if I ever decide to go back to school. I went back to school and this time it was shege banza, infact oga decide that we split the upkeep since we’re no longer a thing, which we did. Lol we had lots and lots of issues till this year, we went for a dna and it came out he’s not the father of my son. On the day the result was sent to my mail, I apologized to him, I was trembling, crying cause all my efforts were in vain. Like I was an evil person but I’m not, I agree and take all the blame but I’m human. It was my first time experiencing all this. This guy wasn’t better, he did more harm than good, made me bitter, I almost lost my life while I was pregnant, I was placed on emergency 🚨. This guy beat me up while I was pregnant. He said I was hard on him, he never made my life sweet, he finds ways to manipulate me and trigger me. On the day the result came out, he called me and noticed I was crying and trembling. He suggested he comes to see me so we can talk. We stay in 2 cities apart, I agreed that he comes around. He came, knelt down, pleading, apologizing for all the wrongs he did. Told me everyone knew him as the father of our child, that where does he want to start from. Lol mumu me, I mellowed, we had sex, lol he gets home to tell me to block me and never reach him again. I messed up so bad, I could have endured the pain. I feel punished, is the what I get for fornicating. God please