I found myself in a dark and desperate place battling a sudden life threatening illness that I spent all my savings on, then had no money left to continue treatment. I approached capable people for help and they refused. I found myself between the devil and the deep blue sea, so I ended up engaging in sexless companionship affairs with three married men at different points because they were the only ones who could help me with hospital bills. I’m not in love with them and I’m not proud of this but they’re nice and come through for me. I try to stop but I’m left helpless cos I can’t work due to my health. I’m sorry.