Here’s the thing, my boyfriend (ex) and myself had a turmoil for a relationship and our disagreements were mostly based on insecurities and lack of trust. We had a showdown and it lead to an actual fight and I had him arrested. If I am being honest, I did push him to the wall as I refused him from leaving the room and I held him because the night before, we had an issue. Now he doesn’t know this but at the time, I had a miscarriage and he had so many other things that had happened the same day I lost the baby (he still doesn’t know I was pregnant and I lost it) I didn’t tell him I had lost the pregnancy because he had a pretty rough day and it felt like his world was closing in on him (his tricycle driver had an accident and the tricycle had fallen on his head and the same day, they called him to tell him that his mom was hospitalized). I failed to understand that men think through a problem whilst women talk through it. We had an argument that same night and in as much as I needed comforting, I failed to be present for him. Secondly, after the fight, I found out that his friends who are also my neighbors had advised him from the very beginning to come (in their words, “eat his share”) because (in their words again “I’m an easy fuck”) note that these were boys who had made passes at me and I rejected and so that was the intention he came with. Fortunately or unfortunately, he fell in love with me but never failed to call me names and accuse me of cheating on him and even went as far as locking me in his house twice because I refused to step out with him. I’m really in a dilemma as to whether or not still try to fix things. The day he beat me up, he had made a threat to lock me up again simply because I demanded an apology from him for speaking rudely to me the night before and that triggered me and I damned the consequences. I maintained constant communication with his mom because she understood things from my perspective (at least, so it seems) and later on I found out what my neighbors had done and I confronted them for spreading lies and misinformation about me. Now I’ve been advised by almost everyone to try and fix things with him but I still am very confused.