Sometimes I always want to believe I’m a sadist but I still wasn’t sure what was wrong with me. This minute I’m cool the next minute I’m sad as fuck, when people ask me I cannot explain what’s wrong with me. So recently I had a mental breakdown, It difficult to see a man cry but i did, I’m just 23 but it seems like the load is too much for me. I’m having the thought to just end it all in a slow and less painful way, I pray God helps me and gives me the strength to overcome.