Is this really love?

I have done a lot of things that has made my boyfriend lost his trust in me ….he switches up always and comes back whenever he likes. He has done it again and whenever he does this,I go through a lot and have this crazy emotional breakdown. Should I accept him again if he comes back…it’s just so crazy because he leaves easily and comes back easily. Most of his friends does not know we are back together and he claims being single to people….I am really going crazy…

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