Still love him

Met this guy 3 years ago, we became good friends one thing lead to another and we fell in love. But before that I knew he was in a relationship it was never peaceful, hmm I became his peace of mind but he couldn’t break up with her this part hurt me so we continued talking and had sex with him once. Now, this is the real gist he finally broke up with her and dated someone else which I found out somehow, and my love for him turned to hate. Thought of ways to hurt him and the only way was to sleep with his friend which happened. I and his friend dated for 7 months and we broke up because I wasn’t in love with him. Just last week he reached out and we talked about a lot of things God I still love him so much
How did I end up like this

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