There wasn’t a male figure in my life who has given me an advice about my adulthood and how I’m to treat a man. I have this wonderful guy who put my best interest at heart but i keep messing things up. I really want to maintain this relationship but I get angry easily. Just when I hear something from town then I come home to fight him. I fought with him recently and I almost stabbed him. My guilt is killing me here and all I ask myself is “what if that knife had penetrated”? Now he has left and I’m all alone dying in my guilt. I’m sorry dear for how abusive I have become. Y’all should just remember me in your prayers