I’m really confused, unsure, uncertain and so full of doubts.
Sometimes i feel he loves me, other times the way he behaves makes me think twice.
He’s made all these plans, which i really see myself a part of but there’s this BUT in every walk with him.
He used to be a chronic womaniser, this year he had just a few flings, yet i don’t believe he can change for good.
He gives me more doubts and fears than love and life.
I try so hard to be there for him but often times our moods clash, hence quarrels and distant silence takes over.
There’s a lot i want to say but
I don’t trust him
I don’t know how much i even love him,
Many times he verbally abuses me (although i’ve grown a thick skin to many of his statements) he says he’s joking !!!
We’ve planned a lot which includes relocating abroad together but i swear i don’t see myself living with him for this long.
I’m not entirely fed up, neither am i entirely afraid to leave him i just don’t feel loved by him in any way at all.
I am hoping this year or early next year i cut off all connections with him (So help me God).
I just want a relationship that’s void of everyday fear and doubts.