Hmm finally somewhere to open up . I have been dealing with depression since I was really young . Let’s say at 12 or 13 years old . I grew up really fast,I am closer to my mum than my dad but she does not understand the whole depression thing . She says get closer to God but it’s really not about that . By 16 , I moved away to school . I chose to school faraway from home to see if I’ll get better but i did not . I started having suicidal thoughts and I generally could not cope with school so I dropped out but I kept playing my parents , they thought I was in school . I got a job( I am really brilliant) the pay was good. I read a lot but I generally can’t stand the classroom . I have been so scared of telling my parents, they would be disappointed and my mum has high blood pressure. Depression has ruined my life as I am typing I am seriously crying . I have a boyfriend of four years but I don’t love him anymore . I am just tolerating him. I can’t seem to keep any friend around me because I am an introvert . I am also lonely even when I am with people I feel lonely . I can’t connect to any one . I feel like running away, blocking out my family, boyfriend, co workers and all and just running faraway . It’s like I am in a deep hole, I can’t breathe, I need an escape, I just want to end it all, I want to go . I am finally tired of keeping up . I don’t know . I don’t know I have really tried . It’s been years of hanging on, nobody understands . I am tired. GOODBYE.