So there’s alot to say, I do not know where to start. I have been troubled with guilt, depression, anxiety etc since I was like four years old, even went through serious blackmail from a househelp for years when I was about five . It went on till I was about nine when I finally summed up the courage to tell my parents about it. Apparently she caught me making out with my little friend, I was five. She made me steal and do things for her. In school I couldn’t really fit in, that’s where timidity and anxiety really came . I struggled one time even to this day with my sexuality although there’s something in me that knows my head is been messed with, like I know I’m but I can’t explain it . The more my mind goes there , the more I doubt my sexuality. I have anxiety about EVERY single thing. I don’t know who I am, I don’t really know how to tell people about myself. I don’t have friends now . I have lost the few friends I had but even when I had friends I felt alone . I kept things from them from everybody . Sometimes they thought I was acting sly but I didn’t know how to tell them that my head is messed up and I don’t know how to share things with anyone, because I will feel empty afterwards, because I don’t trust people .