Pained and confused 💔

I have been married for three years now… I and my husband started from nothing and God turned our story around. I love my husband so much but I question his love for me. In the first two years of our marriage he do beat me up either because I confronted him about a girl or money. He didn’t even mind if I was pregnant with our child and his mom supported him, i couldn’t stand the pain so I went back to my father’s house and he came begging and crying up to three times but eventually it all stopped after my mom slapped him since then he knows I have people to fight for me. He always manipulates my feelings probably because he knows how much I love him, he cheated on me but I forgave him and since then I have been the shadow of myself because I feel betrayed and wonder what more could he be hiding ,his mom maltreated me but I let it go even though he quarreled with her because of me. He doesn’t appreciate anything I do,he makes me feel less of myself , it’s difficult for him to release money to me but yet doesn’t want me to work,he disrespects me in front of anyone even his friends…. He can do heaven and earth for his family but when it comes to me and my family it’s one excuse or the other. I don’t feel attracted to him intimately anymore and I can’t see myself cheating on him. He’s always wanting to feel me and create a bond but i don’t feel same way anymore. Is it because I’m focusing on the negative side and not the good times? Or because I haven’t healed? 😢

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