I really wish there’s a way this can get to my father’s family. I don’t want them to attack my mum when I’m gone, I did this for my peace of mind. If my dad was there for us I wouldn’t think of this, they shouldn’t disturb mum. I have been sexualy molested by 2 of our neighbors, my paternal uncle, and my dad’s friend. Even people I don’t know since I was 5 years till I got to 17 and got admission into school. Due to my parents’s disagreement which usually turn brutal (he always end up beating my mum to stupor) and my mum will have to leave home to a place she built for herself (uncompleted) it didn’t end there. In my finals everything went down for my mum who was sponsoring me and I had to get loans to pay and sort final year bills, a lecturer still failed me and I paid for extra year again even still, he didn’t pass me until we had sex . Since then it’s been really hard to pay up the loans, everything has extended to #500k .It’s becoming too much of embarrassment for me, the calls and threats. I have an Infection in the ear which will cost me a lot to heal. There’s too much financial burden on me, my mum said she thought I would be her soulmate but I have drifted away from her, she didn’t understand I didn’t want her to feel the pain while I’m gone . My salary is just #35,000 How will I sort my life ,how will I even move forward. What’s the essence of creating a soul to suffer . Oh God ! My mum is only trying to be herself for me and my siblings. It wonders me that she has never thought of suicide l. It’s so quick to my mind I’m 23 years, I tell you life is too hard to live in. Thanks for this space I will drop this handle in my diary so whoever reads it will let the family I did it, it was their own son’s fault .