I still cry everyday Sam, I just wish I didn’t go into conclusions in my head, It’s not my fault , I’m a jealous lover. You keep asking me why I cheated, I felt played. Everything is not about sex in a relationship, it’s just a spice, you literally added value to my life. My greatest cheerleader, I’m always at my happiest moment when I’m with you. It’s been 4 months now and I don’t know if things can get back to normal. I have been celibate just because I’m trying to stop myself from feeling like a sexual addict and stop using the fact I’m being traumatized by the ptsd of rape. I wish it’s all a dream because I don’t know how I really let my guard down but you know deep down. I will never break your trust again, cheating might be a deal breaker for you but just do something different this time 😔. I hate having to pretend and post pretty pictures with fake smiles. I know you will see this.

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