I write a lot of stuff about this man in my notes like you could open my notes app and see all this things I’ve written about him, you would see how much he has broken me, how much pain and emotional damage he has done to me. Today I can’t even be with anyone else because of how messed up my head is about love and all that shit and this thing I’m taking about happened when I was 17 now I’m 21 and I still feel the same way, after everything I still love him, I still care about him. I pray for him everyday and I’m always worried about him, sometimes I just want to just see anything that would make me know he’s okay. It’s mentally draining me but I’ve decided that this year I’m not going to be all about that sad stuff. Patrick I blame you, I mean look at how amazing your own life turned out to be and look at mine but I promise you one thing, I will heal, mentally and emotionally I will heal! I will take care of myself and be better for me! Being sad and withdrawn is not me, I’m more than this and I don’t want to be a sad person anymore, I will move on someday. Heaven knows I need help with this. I was happy with you and you did love me but it’s so hard for me to see you hurt me like this, you used to take care of me but what happened?

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