I feel my mom doesn’t love me as much as she loves my siblings maybe because my dad was not the love of her life before he died and it’s a thought i don’t want to keep in my head. She always say my dad forced himself on her while they were young which led to giving birth to me. I’m the only child of my late dad. She’s always in support of whatever career/business my siblings choose to do and make all the necessary efforts and mine is diff evn small effort she makes and maybe things starts to look it would delay which i feel it’s the process she starts complaining and starts discouraging me. I feel she’s venting the anger of whatever happened on me. I wish i have somewhere else to go and live.

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