Void deep in my heart

I often feel so lonely, have a bad relationship with my father, use many relationships to fill the emptiness but still end up feeling worse. I have friends but they aren’t on my mental level, they only know alcohol and drugs. They also feel so entitled to my energy when I pull away because I don’t really like them but they’re my only friends for now. When I go home I cry at least twice a month. Is this my life?

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