I feel so stuck, stagnant. I’m not moving forward or backwards either. No friends, No boyfriend, No good paying job, can hardly pray, hardly go to church, It’s just so empty. It’s really getting to me but i just pretend to every other person that all is well. Nobody knows i drink alcohol (gin/vodka) everyday except maybe my sister and i try hiding it from her. Like I’m destroying myself and I can’t seem to stop. I pray i don’t die untimely like my mom. She died painfully and I believe alcohol played a huge part in her death.