Tired😭I think

I am tired of keeping secrets, I just want to start afresh, been cheating on my boyfriend for a while now and honestly I don’t mean to. He is not really stable finiacially at the moment, most of the time I have to be the one to cater for his needs and the reason to why I cheat on him is because of money. It’s been a week since I started having mind to tell him about the cheating but I am really scared, I don’t want to lose him, I really love him but am beginning to hate myself. I think of suicide maybe it’s an easier way to go instead of putting him through emotional abuse. I really want to change but my business is not even stable. I am sick of this lifestyle.

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