I still think about my ex a lot and at first I thought the thinking was mutual alas he’s just manipulative, he doesn’t want me to move on, calls me once in a long while and makes promises he doesn’t intend keeping. kaii. I can’t understand why I still think fondly of someone who usually beat me like he was trying to kill me. I blocked his numbers though but I still find myself going back to call him or check my call log if he called. I’m pathetic but I’m starting the grow the morale I need to move on away from all that toxicity. I’m forcing myself to realize he does not care about me, probably never did. Though my head isn’t correct and I have a smart mouth but that didn’t excuse the beatings.