Insecure

How can I be so confident and not insecure? I have no confidence in myself at all and I also have low self esteem. I always want to dress well anytime my mom wants to send me on an errand because i always feel like i don’t want to give people impression about me being ugly or dressed somehow. This usually cause a fight between me and my mom when she wants to send me on an errand and me taking hours to dress up. Today, I was sent on an errand to an eatery and I dressed causally not kinda bad though. I entered and saw a bunch of my old secondary school friends and one of my toasters, they are now big boys like you know yahoo guys that form click. The one that’s my friend among them hugged me and I also exchanged greetings with that my toaster but I can’t help but feel insecure about how I dressed like it’s not worth them seeing me in it because it’s not too fine compared to what I wear when going on normal outing, I wasn’t even wearing earrings. It’s not like I want to date them or something but I love giving the impression that I’m beautiful and well dressed because I’m 💯 sure I was gonna be their topic of discussion after they left. My insecurities got really bad after my graduation in 2018, a lot got into university which I haven’t. I’m just doing a jupeb program now and I can’t help but feel like I’m way below my friends in level and stuff though it’s not like I’m ugly. I was even voted as the most beautiful at the jupeb program and I use an iPhone compared to most of my female friends but I think my admission has been the major problem for my insecurities. I was starting to get over it little by little but it’s returning again and I also feel that maybe it’s because I didn’t have a boyfriend because if I had, I wouldn’t care about what other guys think about me. The career I chose is one that doesn’t want insecure people, that’s being an artiste and I wouldn’t trade that for anything but I just feel insecure to post me singing or anything about my career because I feel people would condemn me. There’s really a lot to say about my insecurities but I’ll stop here. Like how can I get so confident it’s really killing me 😭😭

2 comments

  1. Hi good evening, replying to the last message I understand where the writer is coming from. Everyone feels insecure but to me the only way to solve that problem is to accept and love yourself, having a boyfriend doesn’t necessarily guarantee high self esteem because you may get a boyfriend and still feel insecure if you still haven’t accepted who you are and if you refuse to love yourself. I know the feeling of not gaining admission together with your peers that happened to me too so I know where you are coming from but you need to understand that not all fingers are the same and everyone’s time is different, so people acquire things early while some late but I believe everyone would achieve what they want to achieve at due time. Please be patient and put your trust in God.

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