Today I was really sad so I went out to sit on the swing and listen to music. My mum walked up to me and asked what the problem was. I told her it was basic malaria symptoms. She said to me, “your body isn’t aching, it’s your heart, tell me what happened” At that point I could have told her how much I love a boy who doesn’t love me back but pretends to, I could have told her how he makes me feel when he is around me, how his laugh makes my laugh to laugh and how he never offends me when I’m with him. I could have told her how she was right when she saw his picture on my phone months ago and said “this one is a hardened womanizer o” and how I didn’t take her comment to heart. I could have told her how I let my guard down with him because my friends accused me of never letting guys in. I could have told her how much I needed it to work because she kept pressuring me to settle down. I could have told her how men saw me as proud because I did not beg for the scraps off their table. I could have told her how with him, out of sight is out of mind because he doesn’t call. I could have told her about his one lined chats even when he messages me first. I could have told her that he wasn’t picking my calls since the lock down and he was probably shacked up with another girl. I could have told her how close I was last month to bringing home a bastard due to unprotected sex with him. I could have told her how my ex said he was turned off by my independence and my flashyness and my need to post my different locations and turn ups on whatsapp stories. I could have told her that my dad buying me a car chased away the suitors/grand kids she desperately wanted. I could have told her how people said it was an alhaji that bought the said car and guys labeled me bad/a whore once I brought out my car keys. I could have told her how heaven forbid I go on dates and order to my satisfaction because the guy would think I want to finish his money, then let me mistakenly offer to pay.. Lasan! My famous pride!. I could have told her how low key scared I am about my friend who has a sort of terminal illness. I could have also told her how I look at my friend and I pictures and shed tears because I can’t understand the level of pain she is going through and how I feel useless because there is nothing I can do. But I remembered this is Nigeria and parents here are a whole different specie so instead I laughed out loud and said, “Mummy don’t mind this government o! And this foolish Nepa people. How will I work from home with no light and my office gave me deadline mtcheww”.